Women's Healthcare Topics

Making Time for Partner after Baby

Reviewed by James Brann, M.D.

Do Not Take Your Partner for Granted

For those couples who are very close before expecting a baby together, it is normal to feel a bit more disconnected after the baby arrives. The dynamic of your relationship goes from being a “twosome” to a threesome, and that little one you must share your love with is ultimately the most important thing in your lives.

Some couples manage this better than others, but many factors come into play as a result. Will your relationship be able to make it, or break it?

It all depends on how you interact with one another after the baby, and whether you make adequate time for the relationship. Taking each other for granted becomes easier to do, and when one partner feels animosity or resentment towards the child, then it may take a turn for the worse, instead of bringing you closer.

If you love each other, it is never too late to turn things around. Your relationship should be a top priority, over work, family obligations and even over the new bundle of joy. Sure, your relationship will change, but for some families, having a baby can strengthen the bond between you.

Both moms and dads can feel overwhelmed by the presence of an infant, and parenting styles may differ. Losing sight of what brought the baby into the world in the first place can be problematic, but it is critical that you focus on the love that brought you together in the first place.

Making time for your spouse after baby.

Making Time for your Spouse after the Baby is Born

Habits are hard to break, so if both of you have gotten into a routine and rarely share stories about your day, without talking about the baby, then one person may be left feeling lonely and isolated. On the other hand, the parent who has most of the responsibilities of caring for the baby can feel resentment if their spouse does not pitch in and help. Here are some ways you can make time for each other:

  • Schedule a date night – whether once a week or once a month, you need to make time to spend alone with your mate and without the baby interfering with your date.

  • Take time every day – even if you only have twenty minutes in between breastfeeding, burping and nap times, it is important to truly listen to your partner and make time to talk.

  • Focus on little things – Leave love notes on the mirror, in a lunch box, briefcase or hard hat, whatever the case may be. This shows your significant other that he still means the world to you, even if you have less time together for intimacy.

  • Watch a movie together on TV at least a couple of nights every week – Understandably, when a new baby is born, you will have less time to go out. So after the baby goes to bed, make time to snuggle with your lover. Curl up on the couch and have a glass of wine together.

  • Don’t push off intimacy – Sometimes after a baby comes into the picture, the parents are just too exhausted to make time for some “alone time” in the bedroom. No matter how tired you are, you should not push away your mate, because this is one big cause for resentment when one partner decides they are no longer interested in making love.

It will be an adjustment, and how you treat one another – and the baby – will dictate how well you do as a couple. If you want to keep the flame alive and burning strong, remember how you got the baby in the first place and try to maintain as much of that love and lust as possible.


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