Part Two During the teen years, it is vital that you discuss with your teen how their
blossoming sexuality may impact their health and the health of others.
As teens continue to grow and mature, they will start forming ideas and opinions
regarding their sexuality. The more accurate and honest information they have
regarding sex and sexuality, the more likely they will be to make good and safe
choices about intimacy and physical relationships.
As teens grow into young adults, they will continue to be better able to make
intimacy choices that are in their best interests, and less likely to cause
problems for themselves or others.
Most adults recommend that teens not jump into sexual activity too early,
because it takes time for them to become fully aware of how their sexuality can
impact them and the lives of those around them.
As a parent, part of your responsibility will be to help your teen understand
the impact of sex and sexuality as well as their decisions on their lives and
the lives of others.
The Facts about Sexual Activity
How do you approach your teen with regard to sexuality? The best way to approach
your teen is an honest one.
Let your teen know that there are many ways to express intimacy and attraction.
Spending time with another person, simply holding hands and kissing are all ways
to show someone you are attracted to them and to explore physical intimacy
without necessarily engaging in intercourse.
As time goes on most teens will probably start wanting to express their intimacy
at other levels. Most teens are actually open to discussing sex and different
sexual acts, as they attempt to sort out what their sexual boundaries are, and
what is and is not OK when it comes to sexual intimacy.
It is important that you discuss with your teen the difference between sexual
intercourse, petting or touching and other forms of intimacy. Masturbation is
also a topic that is highly sensitive and considered by many to be 'taboo' but
is an important subject nonetheless.
It is vital that your teen understand that masturbation is a normal process and
part of growing up. A healthy interest in such activities may prevent your teen
from seeking out other more intimate encounters.
Establishing Guidelines and Boundaries
One job you will be tasked with as a parent is helping your teen understand what
type of sexual activity is considered acceptable and what type may violate the
rights of others.
Teens have to understand that both parties have to be mature enough to accept,
acknowledge and agree to any type of intimate actions they are pursuing. Sex is
many things, not simply intercourse. Other activities, including masturbation
and oral sex, even anal sex, are all considered sex. Kissing and other forms of
petting are often categorized as types of sexual activity. They can lead to
potential further actions however.
It is important that teens do only those things they are mature enough to
consider, well educated about and things they agree on/are comfortable with.
Teens should also understand that sex that is forced on someone who doesn't want
it is rape, and it is a serious crime. Feelings about sex are often very
confusing during the teen years. Some teens may not realize what they consider a
simple act of sexuality may be considered rape. It is important that teens know
that “No” means “No” and that they should never force someone to do something
that would make them uncomfortable or that steps outside of their boundaries.
Teens should also feel comfortable talking to their parent if any adult puts
them in a situation that makes them feel uncomfortable in a sexual way.
By communicating with your teen early on about sex and sexuality, you will help
establish a trusting relationship that will prevent your teen from avoiding you
and instead encourage them to approach you if someone solicits them in an
inappropriate manner.
Teen Health Issues and Contraception
Teens are just as likely, if not more likely to contract a sexually transmitted
disease from unprotected sexual intercourse.
Your conversations with your teen should include adequate information on STD's
and protection. Despite your best efforts at education, your teen will
ultimately decide when they feel they are ready for intercourse. This may be at
an age that is much younger than you would prefer or deem acceptable.
The best thing you can do short of educating your teen is ensure that they are
adequately informed and protected, both against disease and unwanted pregnancy.
Be sure you inform your teen of the dangers of STD's, including potential
complications such as infertility. Let them know that many STD's such as Herpes
are incurable, and once they contract them, they will have them for a lifetime.
Also introduce your teen to methods of contraception including the use of
condoms and if necessary, birth control pills. If you feel your teen may be
sexually active, you might consider accompanying them to your healthcare
provider's office. Sometimes your health care provider can provide better
information about contraception and help your teen make smart choices,
particularly if you are uncomfortable about the issue.
Teen Sexuality an Over View
Teen sexuality is a complex process influenced by many factors. During the teen
years your child will be battling many opposing forces. They will be attempting
to establish a gender identity, their sexual orientation and attempting to
manage the physical and emotional changes that are rapidly occurring in their
body.
Teens will develop a sense of their own sexuality. If you approach sex and
education with an open and honest mind set, you will establish a trusting and
caring relationship with your teen. This will help them develop a normal,
satisfying and mature sexual identity later in life.
Remember that it is normal for teens to want to begin experimenting when they
are young, but also remember that most lack the maturity to understand the
severe consequences of sexual behavior.
Be sure you talk with your teen honestly and help educate them about the
consequences of sex, and the potential harm that can arise from unprotected
sexual intercourse. By doing so you will help ensure they are provided with
reliable and trustworthy information. You can also work with them to encourage
them to delay serious sexual contact until they are mature enough to make save
and positive decisions.
