Sex and the Mom-to-Be

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How has your sex life been affected by the presence of that baby in your womb? Chances are it has in some way.

You may:

• have an increased sex drive
• have less interest in sex
• feel physical sensations more intensely
• feel shy about your changing body
• be proud about your changing body and wish to show it off
• have questions about the safety of sex while you're pregnant
• feel physical discomfort due to your growing body

Your partner may:

• have an increased sex drive
• have less interest in sex
• worry about hurting you or the baby you're carrying
• be unsure of your desire level
• find your larger breasts or bottom more exciting
• have concerns about the safety of sex while you're pregnant
• not know what positions are best for you

Getting pregnant doesn't mean the end of sex. Sex is not the means to an end. Making babies is only half of what the gift of sexuality is all about. The other half is intimacy. Physical intimacy and emotional intimacy. A healthy sex life is one which provides both types of intimacy? How healthy is your sex life?

Now that you're body is changing, it's especially important to discuss your sex life with your partner. Make sure that you each understand the other's needs and desires. Discuss how the physical and emotional changes affect your attitude about sex. How can you help one another out? By having more intercourse? Less? By touching in new ways? Cuddling more? Whatever you need, if you ask for it you'll probably get it. That goes for both of you.

Sex and intimacy makes us happy. Remember, happy parents grow happy babies.

Questions From Patients

As a gynecologist and obstetrician, I've heard every imaginable question about sex. Some may be questions that are on your mind. Here are a few questions you may be wondering about..

Q: Is it safe to have sex while pregnant?

A: In most cases, the answer is yes. Women in danger of premature labor are advised to refrain from physical intimacy. For the rest you, sex is not only permitted, it's encouraged. It's a positive emotional release; it's relationship strengthening; it reduces stress; it's good exercise; it makes parents happy. Do not engage in activity which results in pain in your abdomen or back. If what used to feel good no longer does, it may be time to experiment.

Q: What are the safest sexual positions?

A: As your body grows bigger, you may find that your favorite positions are no longer comfortable for you. Consider having intercourse in positions where you are not bearing your partner's weight. You're carrying one extra person already. You don't need to carry two! One recommended position is spooning. Both partners lay on their sides, with the woman in front, back toward her man's front. Penetration of the vagina is from the rear, and there is no pressure on her abdomen or back.

Another is "mother nature's" style or "doggie style" as some choose to call it. Being on all fours or leaning over holding onto a wall or other furniture takes pressure off the woman's body.

Then there's always the woman on top position. Sit on your partners lap - facing toward him or away from him, whichever you prefer. This position puts you in control of movements and degree of penetration.

Q: Can having an orgasm cause a miscarriage or put me into labor?

A: In a healthy pregnancy, no. If your doctor has not categorized you as being at risk for miscarriage or preterm labor, go right ahead and enjoy yourself.

Q: Does sex bother the baby?

A: The baby has no idea what you and its father are doing. The baby is cushioned by amniotic fluid, the uterus, the abdominal wall, and your pelvic bones. If the baby is aware of your activity at all, it's just experiencing rocking. And what baby doesn't like rocking? Your baby will actually benefit from your sexuality, because you will be more serene.