Fear, Relationship Changes, and Lack of Sleep

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If you're a first time mom, then parenting is an unknown. If you have other children, you wonder how this new baby will affect their world. Will your only child transition smoothly to sharing attention? Will the youngest adjust to losing the role of baby of the family? Will the oldest feel like there's even more competition for attention? Will a crying baby affect your preschooler's sleeping patterns? If you're a professional woman, you worry about how pregnancy and mothering will affect your career. You wonder how your marriage will change once you are both busy with the new center of your universe. There are so many unknowns. Some people find all this uncertainty exciting, some find it disconcerting. If you are among the latter, you may find this adds to feelings of irritability and of course, irritability makes people emotional.

There is a cyclical element at play when it comes to fear and the emotions of pregnancy. Fear of the unknown makes people irritable, then the behaviors spurred by the irritability make them edgy and nervous about the possibility they may act out again, which makes them more irritable...

3. A couple's relationship may change, causing emotional stress. Women and men both experience the impact of pregnancy on relationships. It's important to keep this in mind if you feel that your relationship is not as strong as it once was.

Your sex life may be different from what it once was thanks to pregnancy fatigue or physical discomfort. That can't be fun for either one of you.

Other relationship dynamics change, too. For example, your once gourmet kitchen may be closed due to disinterest or disgust. If hubby has always cooked for you and you're no longer interested in food, he may be feeling unable to nurture you. If you were the cook, he may be feeling abandoned.

One partner's excitement over parenthood may exceed the other partner's, causing guilt or insecurity. This is certainly true in surprise pregnancies, but is even in planned pregnancies a parent can feel overwhelmed by the commitment. It's perfectly natural. Take comfort in that knowledge and you may notice a decrease in stress.

For many, babies psychologically change the relationship from coupledom to family. Yes, you were a family when it was just the two of you, but now there's no doubt you're a family. You are both responsible for the health, happiness, and education of another human and that can be stressful. Even when you've made the conscious decision to create that other human being.

Becoming a parent is one of the most important decisions you will make in your lifetime. For most of us, it is without doubt the most important decision. That can cause stress to both parents.

There are so many changes in a couple's dynamics that can manifest in mood swings. When one half of a couple is suffering, the other will inevitably suffer. If you notice that your partner seems insecure or unhappy, talk it out. You may find that solving any couple related issues helps your mood swings.

4. Lack of sleep definitely affects a person's mood - pregnant or not. But, when you're pregnant it's even more true. Your body is working so hard, yet at this time when you really need sleep, it's often hard to get.

Make sleep a priority. On a daily basis, make time for quiet time. Even if you can't get in a nap, fifteen to twenty minutes of down time with your feet up is restorative. At night, turn the phone off after nine. Your messages will be waiting for you in the morning. Your baby needs you more than your friends do.

Cut those regular weekend morning commitments out during the first and third trimesters. Instead of visiting your in-laws for Saturday bagels, sleep in and let your husband go on his own. Change your standing hair appointment to later in the day. Send your sweetie to junior's early morning soccer practice. As long as you show up for the game, Jr. will be happy. (Just don't blame your absence on the pregnancy, as that can plant the seeds for rivalry later on. You're tired - that's all the information Jr. needs.)